Monday, February 18, 2013

Breathless statistics

Here we are before our first event.

Hi guys. I got home yesterday from the Breathless Reads USA tour. I did not do the Canada leg because when I was invited, the Canadian dates were planned for this Mon and Tues with a return home on Wednesday and my work and grad school is mainly on Mon-Tues-Wed and I just couldn't afford to miss two weeks. I heard Canada was awesome though, so I hope to go someday.

I had a blast on the East Coast and in Memphis and thought it would be fun to share some random statistics for the US part of the tour.

Number of tour days: 6 + 2 travel days = 8
Number of events: 6 bookstores + 4 school visits + 4 blogger interviews = 14
Number of flights: 9 (for me--varies on how far you went to get there and back).
Number of times Beth almost killed us driving to South Carolina: 0 (She was awesome).
Number of times I forgot to open the mini-van door and let people out of the back: 6? 7?
Number of flights Jessica slept blissfully through while I looked on in envy: most of them
Number of hours spent in transit from airport to hotel to school to bookstore: 15?
Number of motion-sickness pills I took: 7
Number of days before I started to lose my voice: 3
Number of hottie male YA authors who moderated for us: 1--Hi Nathan!
Number of high school boys who proposed to Elizabeth: 1 
Number of times we made fun of Morgan for how she says "about": 30? 40?
Number of things I accidentally left behind in hotel rooms: 3
Number of nights I got more than 4 hours of sleep: 1
Number of twiglets Elizabeth tricked each of us into eating: 1

With the zesty flavor of blackened toast combined with sun-baked dirt, twiglets might just make you swear off snack food forever. Is this why the British are so slender?

***Apparently tricking non-Brits into trying twiglets is a Thing. Watch Justin Bieber enjoy his first tasty bite.

Number of students at our biggest school event: 250-280
Number of attendees at our smallest event: maybe 25-30
Number of schools where the kids cheered like we were rock stars: 1
Number of schools where the kids started to fall asleep five feet from us: 1
Number of days I turned on the TV in my hotel room: 1
Number of days I had time (and energy) to work on revisions: 2
Number of days I had time (and energy) to exercise: 1
Number of NYT bestsellers Beth brought to our final event: 1
Number of churches we got kicked out of: 1
Number of times Jessica got carded: 2
Number of tiny cupcakes I ate on Valentine's Day: 3
Number of times we saw the beach in Miami: 0 :(
Number of future retreats we planned due to things like not seeing the beach: 3? 4?
Number of critique partners I met for the very first time: 2 (YAY!)
Number of awesome bloggers, readers, and booksellers we met: a kajillion! :)
Number of awesome TV appearances: 1--go Morgan!
Number of awkward and unflattering photographs snapped: I don't even want to know. But no worries, here's more evidence of our loveliness. What an awesome team :)

Here we are after our last event. Yay! We made it.

***Check the comments for some awesome additions :)


  1. First of all: LOLOLOLOL. I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE PROPOSED!!! XD Was it like during an event? OR what?! LOLLLLL. I saw that on Twitter and could NOT STOP LAUGHING! That has got to be epic in a weird way ;P

    2) What are twiglets O_O


    4) Should I ask why you got kicked out of a church? O_0

    1. 1. "I know I'm too young for you," he said wistfully. Because clearly she would have left her husband if he'd been a bit older ;) Yeah it was at a school.

      2. Really bad British food. If you ever want to lose weight (and you shouldn't since you weigh like 50 pounds) go to England.

      3. Morgan did a spot for Good Morning Memphis because she rocks like that.

      4. Sorry. What happens on book tour stays on book tour *blinks innocently*

    2. Oh God....BAHAHAHAHA. *wipes away tears* I WISH I WAS THERE. HAHAHAHAHA

      Lol I see your description...errr...okay now I want to try them just to see what they taste like LOL. (And PSH. I WISH I weighed 50 pounds!) and I'll keep that in mind ;P

      THAT IS EPIC. :D

      And *blinks back* please? HOW DO YOU EVEN GET KICKED OUT OF A CHURCH lol!!

  2. What a great list! I was laughing out loud at parts. Sounds like you all had a blast... Minus the whole lack of sleep part :) so jealous you didn't stop here in st. Louis but we will hopefully get the tour one day :)

  3. Haha! LOVE this!

    I would add:

    Number of times people gasped in awe of Elizabeth's British accent: 1.4 million
    Number of times Beth *actually* veered into the wrong lane because she was so caught up in fascinating conversation: Um. A LOT. Glad no cops noticed!
    Number of time the responsible adults on tour got up early enough to eat breakfast while Jess and I slept in: 3? 4?

  4. MMMMMmmm breakfast :)

    Where I come from, veering into the other lane is totally acceptable as long as there isn't a car in it ;)

    And YES, that accent! It was like jeweled butterflies spilled from her lips each time she spoke.

    1. Haha that's so true! Blinkers are merely just a suggestion. ;)

  5. Ummm. How does someone get kicked out of a church?

    Loved the recap, I'm glad you had fun!!

  6. Great recap! I've said this all over the internet but we had such a great time seeing you guys in Greenville!


  7. Wow! You must be exhausted. I am always so appreciative when I meet authors. I am still bummed that you weren't on the west coast leg of the tour! We shall meet one day, though. I am sure of it. :) :)

    1. Did you go to any of the events? I'd be curious to hear how it went :) And absolutely on meeting! I have you and Stacee, and Inky and Ava and probably a couple other WCers i definitely must meet!


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