Friday, January 13, 2012

We. Must. Chill. (Seriously. It has been mandated.)

Has January got you wound up tighter than a tightly wound, wind-up thingie? Is the Stress Yeti coming after you? Trust me. You are not alone. Here's what I've been doing:

*Clumsily juggling first-draft work on multiple projects when I get the email that it's time to work on the outline for the third book in the Dark Waters Trilogy. Yikes. Either something's gotta give or I need to become a better juggler. Pretty sure it's the first one.

*Debating all sorts of Big Life Changes (do I go back to school? work less? work more? work someplace different? live someplace different?) which all feel like they're hinging on pending stuff over which I have no control.

*Exercising myself to the point of exhaustion on a regular basis only to have the heart rate monitor tell me my pulse is 85 (LIES, ALL LIES!) and the scale tell me I'm gaining weight instead of losing (*sigh* probably true.)

*Made the mistake of thinking I had the time/sanity required to start dating someone. Sorry, dude. I tried

*Made a second mistake of perusing the copy-edited draft of Venom to answer a crit-group style question. (Sidebar: it is toward, not towards, at least in the US.) There, on one of the first pages was a sentence I decided I didn't like. Yes, after a zillion read-throughs by various experts, this sentence now feels awkward and wrong to me. The more I stared at that little pile of words, the more glaringly out of place it became, kind of like a hydra at a high school dance. And it's too late to change it.

*Resolved never to look at copy-edited manuscript again.

*Started freaking out over financial paperwork. Estimated taxes? Business expenses? Self-employment tax? This is the first year since I was fifteen that I won't be able to do my own return, and I can already see the guy at H & R Block shaking his head in dismay.

*Did I mention the pending stuff over which I have no control?

*And what is that noise? Is that...? Yes. My cat is currently barfing up an Olympic-sized pool of vomit all over the rug. Thank god for catfood-colored carpets.

So is January stress stealing years from my life and adding inches to my waistline? Probably. Am I seriously considering a mostly-not-serious offer to temporarily relocate to Sweden and shack up with a hot guy from my past? Maaaaaybe. I do like the dark. And I could change my name to Inga and sell sandbakkels out of a little blue and white striped street cart...

Or I could just chill. An aromatherapy producer is trying to get everyone to have a collective National Moment of Chill on January 23rd? Uh, can we start early? I say YES! Chill early. Chill often. Get started with the following chill-o-rific pix, snapped by yours truly:

Oooh, redwoods. They make oxygen. Oxygen is good, unless you are a raging inferno. You are not a raging inferno, right? You are a cool cucumber, an iceberg of chill. 

How chill to be a tired little ferret adventuring through the Great Swamp of Cluttered Bedroom and finding the perfect snuggly spot for a nap. Rest in peace, little Biner.

 The jellyfish--posterchild of chill. He goes where the current takes him.

Ooooh. The Oregon Coast is one of the prettiest places in the world. Too bad the water is usually too chill-y for swimming.

High-end designer chocolate breastesses?? Only the Europeans could be chill enough to sell those.

Sunset over New Zealand, absolutely the chillest (and most insanely gorgeous) place in the world.

The runner-up poster child of chill.

There's just something about a sleeping kitty...

That makes your blood pressure go d-o-w-n.

One of my most chill moments. What about you? Where is your chill place? What do you do when the Stress Yeti comes for you?

PS If you're wondering why that lady has cornrows, all I can say is that there's something about a cruise that makes everyone think questionable hairstyles are a good idea. Cruises, they are very chill like that.

Adorable yeti pictures by SCARLETTVEITH. You can even be cool like me and get the top yeti on a tee shirt.


  1. Wow, me likes, I need to work on my chill list :)

  2. Your relaxation words of wisdom are well timed my friend! Happy chill day!

  3. Life can get stressful at times. It is definitely good to sit back and relax for a moment. I am glad you were able to find your moment to "chill".

  4. Thanks everybody :)

    Tune in next week for a super-chill contest involving a signed copy of Andrea Cremer's BLOODROSE!


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